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Echoes

As you may know by now… LeanOnUs has been attending the #DadChat Twitter Party on a Thursday night from 6-7 pm (PST) which is 2 am in the UK. In order not to miss the fun I’ve been having a long nap/early night and lots of coffee beforehand! So far I’ve been to 3 or 4 #DadChat’s and each one has been informative and fun. The subjects vary each week and there is always the extra banter from the mom’s and dad’s. It is for the dads really but the moms are welcome too which is great.

 

#DadChat lasts approximately an hour but as it’s like a big room with everyone talking it is fast and furious sometimes and hard to keep up. So with Bruce’s permission he has allowed me to edit the transcript to give an example of what goes on when chatting on Twitter and particularly with #DadChat.

 

For those of you on Twitter you will see that I have been brutal with the edit. I have cut the jargon and replaced the replies to Retweets etc with ‘re:’ and cut out the @’s within them. I have left in the Twitter ID of the person talking which you will see. Apologies to anyone who was left out but I hope I included everyone as there were 13 pages for me to go through!

 

Now for those who aren’t on Twitter and have no idea what I’m talking about basically Twitter is like Facebook but in a different format and the timeline runs at a much faster pace. Even though you make friends on Twitter and can chat you actually follow people that are of interest to you. In a way it’s similar to subscribing to someone on Facebook.

 

You ‘follow’ (subscribe) and see what they have to say in your timeline. If you follow someone they may not necessarily ‘follow’ you back. You can still ‘tweet’ to a person even if they aren’t following you or you aren’t following them. I hope that makes sense!

 

Anyway, back to #DadChat… #DadChat is like an online chat party and everyone can chirp in and say their bit. (Any member of the public can watch the chat as it is public but in order to ‘say your piece’ you need to sign up to Twitter.) It’s fun and interesting to see the comments from others and you can quickly get to know someone and if you like what they have to say you can then go follow them. It’s also a chance to build up connections of like minded people.

 

As I said I edited the transcript from last week’s #DadChat to give you an example of what goes on and the type of conversation that is held at these Twitter chats. Be warned! – it’s long as I’ve included some of the extra banter and it will be a little confusing at first as you will see that it’s in order of the real-time conversation and there are a few going on at the same time.

 

I hope you enjoy reading it and if you have any questions feel free to ask!

 Echoes from the DadChat Twitter Party

 

@BruceSallan: Please welcome Joe Brazier @ManvDadhood as tonight’s #DadChat co-host and please follow him! @ManvDadhood: welcome to and #DadChat… The twitter party is at #Dadchat so make the switch #daduary

@goodenufmother:  I”m ready. On your mark, get set, go. #DADuary #Dadchat twitter party. We are on TIME and here!

@BruceSallan: @ManvDadhood is a father to a boy and girl as well as a Special Ed Middle School teacher

@BruceSallan: @ManvDadhood was a guest on my Radio Show today. Listen commercial and $$$free:

@HollyPavlika: Why do men like to have big biceps?

@BruceSallan: Hi Rene and welcome to #DadChat…we should share some TV horror stories sometime!

@ManvDadhood: I feel honored at your support through #Daduary and letting me come on #DadChat and blab some more

@HollyPavlika: How’s that dad in your life?

@Sonya_LeanOnUs: To fill their t-shirts  re: Why do men like to have big biceps?

@BruceSallan: Let’s get started: What do you think: Dads or Moms get more support from peers?

@ManvDadhood:  I don’t know… I was just born that way! 

@josepopoff: My first #Dadchat, finally made it. Show me the money now. 

@brickwade: Hi! Ready for #dadchat. What’s on deck tonight?

@BruceSallan: my pleasure and it’s my honor to have a guy with your arms…NOW, I’m scared!

@padgets: hi everybody! I am back!

@kellidaisy: He’s doing great thank you! re: How’s that dad in your life?

@HollyPavlika: Usually it’s not the arms filling out the t-shirts. LOL!

@josepopoff: Oh, I am a teacher and father of two boys (4 yrs and 16 mos.)

@GregOrtbach: Greetings from London, Canada! Happy New Year all.

@Sonya_LeanOnUs:  I think mom’s get more support.

@BruceSallan: @josepopoff – Hi Jose! Are you in Honduras now? What time is it there? We also have England with us 2nite!

@LovelyLu: Hi all!

@goodenufmother:  happy to be here. I love #dads. My own & the one I’m married 2

@BruceSallan: Miss you, Greg! Hope all is good? re: Greetings from London, Canada! Happy New Year all.

@Ericka: I think Moms get more support, then older fathers. Peers for younger fathers are often the antithesis of support

@dbvickery: Moms have much better network and disposition to get peer support

@BruceSallan: What do you think: Dads or Moms get more support from peers?

@ManvDadhood:  My daughter is 5, and my son is 2. I am a #Sped teacher outside of #Seattle. What do you teach?

@ellalaverne: thanks for having me

@BruceSallan: Hey Louise!

@Sonya_LeanOnUs: LOL very true, it’s to detract from the beer gut!

@padgets: I think moms do

@HollyPavlika: What makes a great Dad?

@GregOrtbach: Great to see you too Bruce – have missed the mighty

@BruceSallan: I agree because moms are used to supporting one another…’cause women usually stay connected!

@josepopoff: Yep, it’s 8 pm here in Honduras; we only have one time zone. Kids are sick tonight, by the way..:(

@TVProducerDeb: Moms get more support. Unfortunately most folks don’t see dads as caregivers

@ManvDadhood: The effort makes the dad great. not perfection. Kids know when you love them and are trying

@BruceSallan: Agreed! Sad but true! re: Moms have much better network and disposition to get peer support

@HollyPavlika:  But we’re supposed celebrate Dadhood tonight so no more dad jokes. we have to behave.

@RossanaWyatt: Hello everyone!

@josepopoff: I teach Physics and Chemistry.

@CourtneyMiami: I’d say moms.

@BruceSallan: Men don’t tend to reach out to other (men) for anything other than business support! Agree?

@ManvDadhood:  Glad to have another teacher here at #DadChat

@LovelyLu: I see a lot more dads as the main caregivers…. Moms still get more support, but people are more helpful to dads

@HollyPavlika: MY dad traveled alot so I didn’t know him very well.

@BruceSallan: Dad jokes are welcome…we’ll just come back at you with CHICK jokes!

@reth1nk: I do concur, feels oddly “un-manlike” even if desperately needed

@dbvickery: even if we have people to support us, and we need it, our stock answer is “everything is fine”. Gotta get over that

@GregOrtbach: Yeah – and moving or installing stuff at the house 

@BruceSallan: We all seem to agree…but WHY? re: @CourtneyMiami: I’d say moms.

@ManvDadhood: if it’s not a business venture (what can I do for you?) Men dont want to show insecurities (What do I need help with?)

@HollyPavlika: @rossanawyatt Hi Rossana.

@AlanKercinik: Being there for your kids rather than expecting your kids to revolve around you.

@Sonya_LeanOnUs: A caring and loving one who is interested in their family

@goodenufmother: I am watching a change in relationship between teen daughter and her #dad. I feel bad for him sometimes

@BruceSallan: True or False: Single Dads and Single Moms get equal support from their communities?

@reth1nk: False.

@brickwade: I agree moms have more support. But we’re also responsible for building these support networks too, ourselves.

@BruceSallan:  WELL SAID, BV…men tend to not admit they’re having a problem!

@MimiBakerMN: Depends on their community! re: True or False: Single Dads and Single Moms get equal support from their communities?

@RossanaWyatt: think that is false!

@TVProducerDeb: I was a little tom boy growing up and loved to hang out with my dad

@ManvDadhood: I don’t think a dad’s support system will look like a mom’s. We work and think too differently for that

@RossanaWyatt: hello, great to be here!

@BruceSallan: Hey Mimi…do you have good support from other moms? Liked your divorce blog today, btw

@GregOrtbach: but only speaking from limited experience. Do agree that Dads are more apt to not seek out groups.

@dbvickery: so support stops at the first level and never develops depth and accountability like it will with Moms

@brickwade: #DadChat how much does make ego play into this equation?

@ManvDadhood: I was raised by my stepdad, and met my real dad when I was 22.

@markalves: Lower expectations for dads. Moms often harder on themselves, feel more pressure.

@BruceSallan: So we’re all sort of in agreement that moms have better support!?

@reth1nk: Yes.

@ManvDadhood: A LOT! re: how much does make ego play into this equation

@MimiBakerMN: Thanks about the blog. I have as much support as I ask for. I try to ask for very little. Hate to add more to others.

@RossanaWyatt:  totally!

@padgets: women are more apt to have more close friends to talk to and lean on

@BruceSallan: – GREAT question! Men have bigger egos and hate to admit they don’t know things…(generally speaking)…

@reth1nk: I don’t know if it’s ego, or false notion put on us by society

@reneemmartinez: My guess is false cc: True or False: Single Dads &Single Moms get equal support from their communities?

@brickwade: It should be different, just as long as it exists. Easy to tailor, no?

@BruceSallan:  but does most of your support come from other women/moms?

@padgets: false

@1ad_dad: Sorry I will miss #dadchat tonight. I hope all is well with everyone. I look forward to reading the transcript. Night y’all.

@ManvDadhood: could be some of both. re  I don’t know if it’s ego, or false notion put on us by society

@MimiBakerMN: TRUE! re GREAT question! Men have bigger egos & hate to admit they don’t know things, generally speaking

@BruceSallan: Hi Mara and welcome to #DadChat

@RossanaWyatt: very true, much harder 4 dads! re: moms are talkers, sharers, supporters… It’s in their nature.

@BruceSallan: @1ad_dad – we’ll post the transcript shortly after 7:00 p.m. PST…

@realmattdaddy: hi everyone! missed you so.

@MimiBakerMN: Actually not really. I only ask for help from men when I can’t do something on my own. Lady friends all busy w/ fams.

@ellalaverne:  of course not. Single dads are “single”d out because they are the yetis of parenthood .. Or so it is perceived.

@BruceSallan: Yes…a (true) stereotype! re: moms are talkers, sharers, supporters… It’s in their nature.

@MimiBakerMN: I try to do everything on my own. Sometimes that men stuff doesn’t get done.

@BruceSallan: Good to see you Matt! re: hi everyone! missed you so.

@jimhigley: probably late seeing this, Bruce – but single dads are usually looked at w a lot of suspicion… at least at first!

@GregOrtbach: Great to see you! re: hi everyone! missed you so.

@BruceSallan:  meaning you ask the men for help “fixing” things?

@brickwade: I also find that men wait for other friends to have kids before seeking out and building new parenting friendships. Why?

@Support4Dads: I think single Dads are often invisible to larger society so they get less support but once known positive support

@reth1nk: Have you ever read “Nurture Shock”. the authors would disagree with that.

@ManvDadhood: Men are builders, refiners, and fixers. A support system SHOULD be natural to us too

@BruceSallan: lol…I was shocked at the treatment I got when I was a 24/7 divorced single dad!

@MimiBakerMN: Yes. But only a handful of times in 5 yrs. re: – meaning you ask the men for help “fixing” things?

@Ericka: but it’s how they activate the support system

@WorkingMotherHJ: if its a full-costody dad, they get more sympathy!

@MimiBakerMN: Meaning? re: lol…I was shocked at the treatment I got when I was a 24/7 divorced single dad!

@GregOrtbach: If we’re not inclined to ask for directions, I’m not convinced we’ll be up front about looking for support groups.

@TroyPattee: Hey Jose! I’m tweeting from Belize tonight, so I thought I’d say hello. I’m ready for my kids to go to bed…

@BruceSallan: do you really think that “once known” the dads get equal support?

@dbvickery: and you are much better wired, stereotypically, for building that support

@MimiBakerMN: I agree. Seen as a hero. re: if its a full-costody dad, they get more sympathy!

@Support4Dads: not equal but more positive. as someone else said more sympathy.

@WorkingMotherHJ: me to re: I was a little tom boy growing up and loved to hang out with my dad

@MimiBakerMN: Do women come rushing? LOL re: do you really think that “once known” the dads get equal support?

@ManvDadhood: Exactly! re: but it’s how they activate the support system

@goodenufmother but u knew that no?

@BruceSallan: not sure I understand that statement about waiting for other friends to have kids?

@josepopoff: Mom and Dad are two so different concepts.

@ManvDadhood: I’ve tried to start one a couple times for myself, but I am a diverse person and I can’t get the personalities to mesh

@BruceSallan: Wow, we have Canada, Belize, Honduras, and England 2nite

@Sonya_LeanOnUs: I think so…women find it easier to connect and talk usually

@BruceSallan: you speak the facts Ella…love the direct talk!

@BruceSallan: was he a good dad in spite of that?

@MimiBakerMN: So hard for boys. =( re: My Dad was an orphan. He had no one to learn from when it came to being a dad.

@JPlovesCOTTON: Is #Dadchat still underway? If so, hello everyone! If not, sorry I missed out. Has been a long travel day

@WorkingMotherHJ: yes and more needy

@MimiBakerMN: Hi Janice. How are you?

@ManvDadhood: That was the inspiring thought for my blog? How does one with no examples find manhood and dadhood?

@reth1nk: very true.

@BruceSallan: When I first became a dad, it was IMPOSSIBLE to find a Dad and Me type of group!

@featherchick: Hmmm, #Dadchat? Um, something you want to share with us??? LOL!

@HeiddiZ: awww! My father was only given his last name. Nothing else. So my father thought he did better by supporting us.

@dbvickery: I know my wife is excellent at both…connecting *AND* talking. She is known for her listening though

@BruceSallan: So, I joined a Mommy and Me one…funny stories from that (especially when they all breast-fed at the same time)!

@MimiBakerMN: We have lots of Dad and Me classes in our little town.

@aknecht: Irony is even married people don’t always get the support from their spouse. Mom doesn’t know how to be a good dad & reverse

@HollyPavlika: I wouldn’t say he was. Sorry.

@RossanaWyatt: they were not as common re: When I first became a dad, it was IMPOSSIBLE to find a Dad and Me type of group!

@Sonya_LeanOnUs: I think they can but it’s more difficult for dads

@padgets: #dadchat my husband is better with our girls than I am

@brickwade: Tend to stay in their own social circles and don’t click with other fathers unless they hav existing friendships.

@BruceSallan: we’ve only just begun JP! …hmmm, good title for a song?

@MimiBakerMN: o_O re: So I joined a Mommy & Me one…funny stories from that (especially when they all breast-fed at the same time)!

@MimiBakerMN: #Carpenters re: we’ve only just begun JP! …hmmm, good title for a song?

@HollyPavlika: Yep. I don’t think he knew how to relate to his family once he had one.

@Ericka: You’d think fatherhood would be enough  it may be harder for men to connect emotionally?

@JPlovesCOTTON: Good Mimi! You? And @featherchick #Dadchat doesn’t discriminate based solely on parenthood. 

@goodenufmother: My husband left his job a few months back, working from home now. Good to see him interact on mundane tasks w/kids.

@ManvDadhood: great point! Does support NEED to start in the home so THAT institution doesn’t fall apart?

@BruceSallan: Hello Heiddi with two “d’s” and welcome to #DadChat

@RossanaWyatt: i’m sure re: So I joined a Mommy & Me 1…funny stories from that (especially when they all breast-fed at same time)!

@realmattdaddy: You turn away a lot of business when you call something a “Mommy and me” class. There are fathers that would love to join!

@josepopoff: Hello, I’ve been to Belize! My kids are both asleep, a little feverish though…

@MimiBakerMN: I want my boys to have strong male examples, but then I have to ask a man to take time away from HIS family.

@HollyPavlika: I don’t know. We learn from others. Like our marriages set the stage for our children’s relationships.

@JPlovesCOTTON: Its official! I’m firing up tweetchat for #Dadchat — if you have kids in your life, you should pop on over. 

@BruceSallan: Big of you to admit that, Sharon! re: my husband is better with our girls than I am

@ManvDadhood:  True. We are NOT taught how to navigate our emotions in a healthy way. We only learn how to ignore and supress them

@Ericka:  I so agree. This Mommy language need to change to parent to include all

@HollyPavlika: Can’t your boys join your friend’s boys?

@Sonya_LeanOnUs: Yes, I think it is much easier for women, some dads are fantastic though and deserve more support and recognition

@VoogDesigns: Sorry I’m late gang. Hope everyone enjoyed the newest Because I Said So Comic Strip!

@realmattdaddy: I am attempting to start a dads group here in central PA. If you know anyone, send them my way!

@BruceSallan: ASK Anyway…plus there’s the Big Brother programs…I was a big twice to kids w.o. dads!

@ManvDadhood: Come by #DadChat and see what we’re doing!

@padgets:  well I am glad I did not have that with my dad as teens they see him as expert with guys

@dbvickery: I missed both my daughters 1st words while traveling, but I telecommuted for close to 14 years so was w/them

@realmattdaddy: And can we lose “Mr. Mom” too? re: I so agree. This Mommy language need to change to parent to include all

@MimiBakerMN: My youngest is in Cardinal Buddies. So 3rd grader is paired w/ a high schooler. He’s w/ a 9th grader & LOVES it!

@parentourteens: Where I live, they give names to the program like mini-me or whatever. They don’t call it mommy & me

@ManvDadhood: They do, and we have learned from our parents… present or gone, good or bad!

@brickwade: #DadChat Dads tend to get celebrity status around here when joining the moms in everyday care taking.

@BruceSallan: Cool! re: Its official! I’m firing up tweetchat for #Dadchat — if you have kids in your life, you should pop on over. 

@HeiddiZ: Hiya Bruce. Nice to meet you. 

@Ericka: Yes! Then we put a baby in your hands and expect you to know how to be a father without help

@MimiBakerMN: Yah, Big Brother, but it’s one more thing in our already busy lives. So hard to choose.

@MimiBakerMN: Different ages. Different s e x e s re: Can’t your boys join your friend’s boys?

@BruceSallan: Hello and welcome to your (first?)

@parentourteens: @HollyPavlika its me..

@realmattdaddy: Great! Baby and me works too. re: They dont call it mommy & me

@BruceSallan: move in with us!

@HollyPavlika: I played the dad in some cases with my kids…like baseball and basketball.Taught ’em to bake too.

@josepopoff: Dads were not meant to be moms, or viceversa. You think it can happen though, can one parent really play both?

@Ericka: Yes! I call out every instance of “parent” when they really mean Mom. We need to really mean parent!

@realmattdaddy: I know, that’s why I hang out here. re: Dads tend to get celebrity status around here when joining the moms

@MimiBakerMN: Packing… re:move in with us!

@LovelyLu: I was home for my first 3, my husband was home for our youngest – all 4 great kids, nice to see how close he is to youngest!

@ManvDadhood: I knew I had no idea what I was doing because of my poor examples… and am overcompensating to make up for it

@parentourteens: yep. Its my first #dadchat. Remember, its @chickymara 

@BruceSallan: isn’t it ironic that you need a license to drive but NOTHING to parent!

@padgets: my husband was a stay at home dad for 24 yrs while I work outside the home soooo lucky

@HollyPavlika: Oh. I guess coaches?

@MimiBakerMN: I was a SAHM for 15 yrs. Feel bad my 8yo doesn’t get the same time with me. =(

@BruceSallan: One parent can’t do both roles…they are different though some PC police will disagree!

@aknecht: Key to being a good parent IMHO – remember what you respected that yours did & replicate & remember what you disliked & don’t do

@Ericka: Exactly. I just see over and over how we actively discourage boys/men from nurturing until fatherhood

@GregOrtbach: @LovelyLu Great to see you Louise!

@MimiBakerMN: Yah…I seriously just hate asking. Everyone has their own lives. re: Oh. I guess coaches?

@ManvDadhood: You need a license to take a life, but not to start one!

@JodiOkun: Been thinking about u 2 re: thinking about u ’cause my column this week is about college: http://t.co/UAnfvPW9

@goodenufmother: that’s awesome! They will remember that!

@HeiddiZ: Me too. Except I was wiped out. Ended up taking kiddo to Central Park where he could play w/boys & their dads.

@BruceSallan: LOVE is a Many Splendored Thing…

@HollyPavlika: Yes. I think we forget to remind ourselves every day about our role models.

@parentourteens: I think that they should have parenting classes readily avail like prenatals For moms & dads!

@ManvDadhood: That’s why boys think manhood and dadhood are separate or in opposition… thus, my blog and Twitter name! 

@WorkingMotherHJ: Hope all the #Dadchat folks will join us for #chat next thurs night 9 p et on paid parental leave to learn facts & to-dos

@LovelyLu: I feel that way too, but I must say – I think I’m closer to him than I was to my other 3…

@brickwade: #DadChat My husband is a FF who’s home 20 days/mo. We often interact w other fire/police families for sim sched/dynamic. Very supportive.

@BruceSallan: @VoogDesigns – Say hello to Michael, my incredible illustrator for our comics: and please follow him!

@GregOrtbach: I have been enjoying this school year so far -broke the kiddies out of the before school program & start each day with them.

@realmattdaddy: @NYCDadsGroup does daddy boot camps! re: I think that they should have parenting classes readily avail moms & dads!

@ManvDadhood: Even the BEST single parent cant> re: One parent can’t do both roles…they are different.

@Ericka: I’ve worked with young men who are struggling with that. I hadn’t thought about it as in direct opposition but I will.

@HollyPavlika: Nope I’m totally serious tonight. 

@VoogDesigns: Sorry I am late Big Daddy! Dinner with the family comes first.

@RossanaWyatt: O, let’s not get stated thr! re: isn’t it ironic U need a license 2 drive but NOTHING 2 parent!

@goodenufmother: trying to get my husband to join the #dadchat. He’s not as enamored with Twitter as I am.

@HeiddiZ: