This year, the message is two-fold.
Do you have all you need?
For many, this is a time for giving and I thought it would be worth considering what we have, and what we think we need.
I’ve written many times about the unhappiness so many of us experience due to the mistaken belief that what we gain in monetary, material or positional cases will define our happiness. It’ll be alright when… rarely pans out and even if that event and time bring joy; it’s almost always only a temporary fix.
So what do I need to be happy?
The truth is, nothing outside of me will bring lasting happiness. Sorry, but there it is. I think the closest I can come to debunking this is when I consider the legacy having children produces. Still, there is much heartache and suffering, as well as joy.
As for our other relationships, workplace, social and domestic, they will always be in a state of flux as each other individual continues along their path and journey of personal growth and development.
Houses, holidays, cars and jobs all come and go for many of us.
A view held by some is around the elusive ‘inner-peace’ where we can learn to live with equanimity. That is, to live equally accepting of days of joy, and days of discomfort; both in varying degrees.
“Happiness is an inside job.”
When I can learn to find acceptance for who I am, what I have, and that the world ‘in me’ is all that I need; rather than trying to control the world outside of me then I can be closer to having all I need. Talking of which…
The world is a beautiful place. (Turn the news off to find it!)
In these days of 24/7 access to global events, the ‘news’ is accessible to many of us. Exposed to on a regular basis, inevitably, negative news coverage, opinion, and shocking images will form beliefs that the world is a dreadful place and that for humanity, all has been lost!
But what of the truth? Yes, horrible people and terrible events occur daily, but NOT TO US!
It is of little surprise that so many are adversely affected by regular and same news ‘stories’ projected into our living rooms each day and night. But what might this look like if there was a dedicated news channel covering only positive stories?
We quickly become the beliefs associated with that to which we are exposed.
Tips for 2016
Find gratitude for what you have, rather than despondency for what you think you need. Try a little ‘news-fasting’ and then measure the effect on your overall sense of positivity and hope.
Wishing you all every peace and well-being for this holiday period, and 2016, Bob
Bob Brotchie is a British counsellor providing private services to clients in the privacy, and comfort, of a truly welcoming environment at his company office. He can be found at Anglia Counselling Ltd, located near Newmarket in Suffolk (GB). Bob also provides counselling, online, for international clients all around the world.
Therapeutic models are often centred around mindfulness, with clients finding 'peace' via the integration of Psychotherapy and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) principles.