LeanOnUs

Boundaries are so important. They are where we end and the rest of the world begins. When we are targeted by toxic people, boundaries become blurred. We become part of their personal world, and our own sense of self is expertly crushed. Boundaries are not allowed, and we are made to feel that maintaining any is rude and wrong. The only way to escape the influence of toxic people is to begin putting boundaries back in place. Whether you physically remove yourself from a situa

We all have a little bit of something in us; even narcissistic traits! Everyone to some extent is 'narcissistic'. Healthy narcissism means that you have the ability to get your needs met, without damaging other people whilst doing so. Unhealthy narcissism is at play when individuals operate to an 'I win/you lose' model, which purposely or mindlessly undermines and diminishes other people. - Narcissistic Personality Disorder 101 Quiz However, when we have dealings with som

Sometimes I need to be part of a community of folk just like me. Only, since I am unique, and so is he, so is she, so are you, and so, most assuredly, is my M2F transgender cousin, and my other cousin who is camp as a row of tents and a nasty homophobic bigot, I have no idea what you and I have in common. And, do I have anything in common with that list of folk? When I think about it, though, we all have things in common despite, perhaps because of, our differences... read

Whether we visit our elders or they come to stay with us, do we look forward to our time together? The festive holiday season is perhaps a time that demands more of us than almost any other time of the year (the second being summer holidays). Why is this? The impact on household finances because of expectations in terms of consumer spend? The time required to carry out those extra shopping trips, or time spent online these days? The pressures of work and our attempts to

Married couples often consider long-term separation, rather than a divorce; or maybe worse, stay together despite irreconcilable differences, citing an inability to overcome financial barriers. Financial considerations are still, and rightly so, a major factor along with the custody of children and pets and house sale (or not) amid seemingly countless other ‘battles’ fought. Is it possible to ‘manage’ the separation or divorce process without this domestic war? Mediation i

There are many of us who live with depression on a daily basis. I'm not referring to 'our own' depression but rather that of a partner. If this is something that you have lived with, either for a short period of time or for many years, you will agree that it can be very frustrating at times as we want to help 'fix' it. In his latest article entitled 'How to Survive When Your Partner is Depressed', our community counsellor, Bob Brotchie advises that "Trying to help ‘fix’ thei